Thursday, November 01, 2007

Egg Nog

As some of you might recall from last year, the holiday season is kicked off each year with an email tribute to egg nog from my brother. I'm not sure when or how this unique tradition got started but the lucky recipients look forward to the email each year as evidenced by such reply-all responses as "Fabulous as always, Nick!" and "Beautiful, St. Nick. I welcome the nogmail each year, and can't wait to make my way immediately to the neighborhood grocery store to pick up a carton. The pepperjack nog sounds delicious, by the way!" One grateful reader termed them "nogmails", which made me giggle. This year's nogmail arrived last night and I feel compelled to share it with you again (because for some reason my brother hasn't started his own blog yet!). So, without further adieu, I give you St. Nick's Annual Tribute to Nog:

As I wandered through the local market, I noticed that peculiar sight that warms my soul every year. As I rambled past the dairy case I spied a glistening carton of redemption filled with festive ambrosia smiling back at me. Is there anything more exhilarating than the first signs of a change in season? Whether it is your neighbor pulling down the lights in his trees because the first leaf buds have sprouted to start spring; the first piles of summer dirt littering the suburbs reminding us school will soon be out; or promos for the latest show starring Ted Danson litter the airwaves to start the fall. But my favorite season is now upon us.

The government has finally lifted the moratorium allowing us to celebrate what can only be described as the highest compliment life can pay us. Is it ever too early to begin my favorite season?

Never! It's time to experience NOG! 'Tis the season of nog, in all its splendid mutations!
As always, I would like to celebrate some of the largely unknown, least popular versions of this elixir; the forgotten cousins so frequently neglected, overlooked and forgotten. Join with me, in the spirit of the season. Kick off those loafers, throw on some slippers, pull on the snowflake sweater, slide back on the recliner, crank up the Mannheim Steamroller, and pour a tall glass. Viva la Nog!

root nog
celery nog
beef nog
chicken nog
don't forget soy nog for the vegans (no animals were killed, maimed, ridiculed, mocked, taste-tested, joy ridden, developed, forgotten, or enslaved in this nog)
Bruce nog
almond nog
a-mond nog (Nothern Calif exclusively)
online nog
inline nog
cut-in line nog
soda nog
lime rickey nog
grape soda nog
grape-a-licious nog
juice-a-rific nog
bluecross/blueshield nog
fogettaboutit nog
does this look like your parking spot nog
I can't feel my feet anymore nog
pepper-jack nog
ranch nog (has bits of corn, gravy, and mashed potatoes mixed in it--aka Nog For My Father)
fusion nog (some kind of a blend of Chinese/Carribean/French nog)
jujji fruit nog
Buffalo Nog
Bison Nog
French Poodle Nog
I left my nog in El Segundo
surrey with a nog on top
Old Nog
Sticky Nog
Wicket Nog
Wicked Nog
Sticky Wicky Nog
black-eye nog
dance of the sugar nog fairy
St. Elsewhere's Nog
Coppa Ca-Nog-a (the hottest nog north of Havana)
Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabbadoo Nog (that's the worst nog I've ever heard Homer)
You are nothing without your robot car! Nothing! Nog
Nogger
neener-neener-nog
Jimmy likes Nog, Jimmy could really go for a Nog, cause Jimmy loves Nog Nog
Trog nog
Nogfeasor
Nogalicous
Nogtastic
Winder Dairy Nog
ol' nog
Jell-O surprise nog
sine qua nog
And you don't quit nog
Hexanog
Octnoganal
Parallelonog
Bruised, battered and nogged nog
Wal-Nog
Nogfare for the Common Man
Log Nog (what rolls down stairs rollover in pair, rolls over your neighbors dog/what's great for a snack and fits on your back....it's nog, nog, nog)
Electric Light Nog-chestra
nogbo
Bric-a-brac nog
Hip Nog
Nog hop
Bohemian Nog
WASP Nog
Hipster Nog
athlete' s nog
girly nog
manly nog
freaky nog
stuffy nog
prissy nog
stinky nog
stank--eee nog
naz-tee nog
Epicurean Nog (made for sipping)
Jolly Good Nog
If you have a problem with nog you have a problem with yourself, nog
Timbaland Nog
This is it! Nog
Make no mistake where you are Nog
I'm bringing noggy back nog
Corn Baller Nog
Skittlebrau Nog
National Confederation Nog
International Confederation Nog
Universal Contempt for Christopher Cross Nog
Artificial fluid Nog
St. John's nog
get of your nog and jam
Super happy terrific delicious nutritious ambitious nog
tired nog
sick nog
sick and tired nog
Wan' somma your Brown Su-gar Nog
Billy's bathtub nog
Soldier of Nog
Madnog
Maddog Nog
Dog Nog
Dog Mad Nog
res ipsa noguitor (the thing speaks for the nog)
Uncle Stinky's Nogcar
Frankly I don't give a Nog
Vermont Teddy Nog
Pennsylvania Dutch Nog
Converted Nog
Inverted Nog
goN esreveR
ALL CAPS NOG
Turnip Truck Nog
Move-on.nog
Capitol Nog
Never lets you down nog
Repeating Nog
Repeating Nog
Xananog
Nog on a Plane
Nogo de pescado
existential nog
Milquetoast Nog
Lost City of Nog
Extra Elbow Room Nog
Elbow macaroni self portrait nog
Contract with America Nog
go fug your nog
freeze dried nog
Clutch Nog
Give me back my Nog!
After the nog is gone
Low Birth-weight Nog
Nogo
Walker Texas Nogger
Burning Hunk of Nog
Will lead to indictment nog
split pea nog
still legal in 8 states nog
The Coug's "This is our nog-try"
sold separately nog
What the dealy-o nog?
Brendon Frazier Nog
Hydrogen Powered Nog
Alternative Nog Power
The longest nog
Bad Newz Nog
High as a Georgia Nog
waltzing Ma-nog-a
onion Nog
garlic nog
onion and garlic nog
Sweet Nog Alabama
Breakfast at Nog-iffy's
Nogwork Orange
Nog-22
Black Nog (cause he's got a plan to stick it to the man)
Gettin Funky Nog
Like an old batch of collard greens Nog
Dill sauce nog
US District Nog
Private Reserve Nog
Unsolicited Nog
Solicited Nog
Felicitous Nog
Ridiculous Nog
Chuck Noggis
Do Nog
Don't Nog
Don't know why Nog
Nog-Shake
Nog-twist
Nog Shout
Gimme the Shimmy Nog
Who told you to put the nog on? I didn't tell you to put the nog on. You never know what a nogs gonna do! Nog
This is a Nog's world
The Nogtation
Technology nog
The Last Nog You Will Ever See
Non-threatening Nog
Passive Aggressive Nog
Afternog Delight
The Final Nog-Down
Nogner's "The Nog Cycle"
Nogburg
Noggin jiggy wid it
Forever in Nog
Sweet Nog-aline
Slightly Sloppy Nog
Home Depot Nog
Elbow Nog
Nogzilla
The Truly Joyous Nog
Rocket Fuel Malt Nog
Amplified Nog
Coming to you live from station W-E-N-O-G, better known as WeNog, or deeper still the Mother Nog connection, coming directly from the Mothership. 500 Hundred Kilowatts of P-Nog power.
Since you been Nog
Skip To My Nog
Fried Green Nog
Tyrant Nog
Tyra Nog
Somebody Stop Tyra Nog
Uncle Jessie's Mullet Nog
Duke Boys Nog
Just the Good Ol' Boys Nog
Past the Tipping Point Nog
Clang Clang Clang with the Nog
Joyful Nog
Earth, Wind, and Nog
Yeah, I had to pay for it, Nog
Uncle Wiggly's Secret Stash Nog
I'll be Nog for Christmas

Happy Holidays!
St. Nick

What's your favorite nog?

3 comments:

Beck said...

I'm buying some Chuck Noggis for my husband. He loves that stuff.

tiffany said...

Oh how I love the annual NOG post!!!!

lizzie said...

are you worried about global nog warming?

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