Wednesday, September 05, 2007

wednesday's rambling thoughts and musings

Yesterday I called to make a long overdue appointment to get my hair cut. I delayed this for a while on purpose because I wanted my hair to be long enough for a pony-tail on vacation but I have spent the last month hating my hair because of that decision. Although it was nice to be able to throw it all back in a pony-tail while in Iceland. Needless to say I am anxious to insert some style into my hair as soon as possible. Especially since I have another wedding to attend in a couple of weeks. Well, my stylist was not available this week because she is working Fashion Week. Yes, I share my stylist with runway supermodels. How comforting. Maybe she will have some fun stories to share when I see her on the 15th. A bit intimidating I guess except my hair may actually be the one thing I have that is thinner than a super model. Plus, last time my stylist said she "loves" cutting my hair because it just goes perfect . . . or something to that effect. Needless to say I was shocked. My hair must just put on a good show for her because I have never had it just go perfect for me.

I hate when I waste a good outfit and good hair (despite the shaggy overgrowth, a curling iron actually is capable of making it presentable) on my desk, my computer and the workers at the deli next door (for both breakfast and lunch). I could have shown up dressed for Iceland in cargo pants and sans make-up for all the interaction I have had with live people today.

I'm trying to use my jet lag to my advantage and turn into a morning person. So far so good. Both Sunday and Monday I woke up without an alarm at 530 am. This is definitely not normal for me. Yesterday it was a bit later - more like 615 and I didn't get out of bed until just after 7 so I felt like I slept in a bit. Today it happened again and I crawled out of bed with my alarm at 715. I am using this extra time to get back into a gym routine. Yesterday I met with my trainer so that was my primary motivation for getting up there (I'm so lazy, my gym is only up one flight of stairs from my apartment). We haven't met in about 5 weeks so I was in rough shape and today I'm sore. Which is good. But today I actually went to the gym again and I wasn't paying anyone to meet me there - just me, the eliptical and Matt Lauer interviewing Bill Clinton. Yeah me! I am going to try and keep this going and go again tomorrow. Wish me luck!

I want to leave work now, even though I have lots left to do.

I read this article in the NY Times today. I'm pretty concerned. I already have asthma, I don't need my beloved microwave popcorn giving me more lung problems. I can't give it up. I'm just hoping that the fact that I use 97% fat free popcorn or natural is safeguarding me from this popcorn lung thing. At least I'm not eating it twice a day or breaking “open the bags, after the steam came out, [and] . . . inhale[ing] the fragrance,” as the man in the article did frequently. I prefer to dump the steam quickly into the bowl to get the m&ms I add a bit melty. Mmmmmm m&ms and popcorn. Seriously, this better not be giving me more lung issues.

Lately I've been watching episodes of Coupling on BBC America. It is really very funny, although probably closer to an R rating than PG13. I thought it was particularly funny when one of the female characters said she felt like each time one of her friends got married it made her more single. Well put. And the two single women complained about how personally offensive it was that all these men were going around marrying other women. This is what a friend of mine and I were trying to articulate the other day when discussing people who never thought would get married but did before us and sure, we don't want the guy she married but it is still somehow offensive. I thought it was funny.

I looked at my statcounter today. I don't think I really know how to interpret most of the stuff on there other than to realize I have some regular readers I cannot identify who I would love to hear from - even if anonymously just to know what brought them here or why they come back or what they think. Please, come out of lurking even for a moment to say hi. I love and appreciate comments and really enjoy making new friends. Really. I'm jealous of blogs with loads of comments.

Speaking of which, I've been getting braver about commenting on other blogs, sometimes I make new friends or reconnect with old friends, which is great! But sometimes I get silence in return. I don't know how to interpret that. Not sure if there is an ettiquette one is supposed to follow here and if I am the one in breach by leaving unsolicited comments or they are for failing to acknowledge it or neither because there are no rules. If you comment, I promise to acknowledge you.

This brings me to my recent thoughts on unrequited friendships. Probably a topic for its own full-blown post but here are some raw thoughts. Recently my sister was blown off by a couple of high school friends she tried to reconnect with. They literally stood her up on dinner plans. Both of them. It goes without saying that this hurt her. It hurt me too. And made me angry. Who do these girls think they are to blow off my super amazing sis? Not worth her time. But as the saying goes, easier said than done. It is hard when you feel you once had a connection with someone, a genuine friendship that is seemingly discarded or carelessly cast aside as out-of-date by the one time friend. It stinks when you muster up the courage to pick up the phone or send out an email that goes unanswered or is not received well. It leads to the type of self-doubt and personality examination that is generally uncalled for. I hope I am not unwittingly guilty of this shameful and hurtful brushing off behavior. I know of one instance where I am. On purpose. For a purpose. I had to rid myself of a toxic friendship to protect myself from future pain. I'm not even sure he has realized what I have done, blocking him out of my life by ignoring phone calls and failing to email. And for some reason that makes me feel a little bad too. But otherwise, I really hope I am not guilty of inflicting this type of degrading rejection on former friends or even acquantences who believed we once had a connection.

Today I took an important step toward full fledged adulthood. One of the big ones. This has been in the works for a while but I have been too afraid to pull the trigger to move the process along. Now I'm a bit superstitious and afraid to write about it out of fear I will jinx the whole thing. Is that vague enough for everyone? And no, this does not involve a boy.

One last thing. I just finished off a bag of Maltesers I brought back from Iceland with me. They are like Whoppers only much, much better. I fell in love with them when I was living in Australia. Seriously, why is the chocolate in our country so subpar? I am co-chairing a banquet next month (because I'm crazy and can't say no) and the keynote speaker we are trying to get is from Hersheys. I may have to interrogate her on this chocolate problem. There was an article in the Times a while back on the substandard chocolate in the US (relative to the UK, Canada, etc)that I meant to blog about but failed to save the permalink and now it is lost in their only-for-a-fee-archives. But in all honesty, if all amazing chocolate were readily accessible here I may lose that last tiny bit of will-power I am hanging on to now.

That is all (good thing, that was far more than I intended to write), carry on and enjoy the rest of your week.

P.S. a bit of a blogger meltdown scare just now. Luckily all was not lost . . .


Beck said...

As far as blogging goes, I wouldn't worry too much about whether people are commenting or not - some bloggers just DO NOT COMMENT BACK, and it has nothing to do with you.
My hair is so stupid right now and I'm too broke to go for a haircut. :(

emily said...

three things.
one: who is the toxic boy
two: did you purchase real estate?
three: you can buy Maltesers on

tiff said...

I don't know why, but I love random thought posts!

I understand the haircut woes. Time to make an appointment for me too.

I also can relate to feeling like a great outfit has been wasted. "Hi fridge, do you think I look nice today?"

Anonymous readers can bother me too. I think in the back of my mind I want to know (through comments) who is reading all of my personal thoughts. It's kind of a security thing.

Are you getting a mortgage???

michele said...

way to go to the gym alyssa! that might motivate me to exercise one of these days.

sometimes i think i need a sassy haircut, but then i get scared. so my ponytail just grows longer and longer. it's not quite as long as your hair in high school, but getting close.

and to echo emily and tiffany...are you buying an apartment?

autumn said...

I too am confused about blogger ettiquette. Not sure about that kind of stuff.

I agree about chocolate being subpar in the United States. In Europe some of the best chocolate of my life came out of a vending machine. Not so much here.

Also, I might have pulled the trigger on something not involving a boy today as well, and I too am way to terrified to write about it.

Soul-Fusion said...

yeah for comments!

em, toxic boy is the notorious AT.

no comment on real estate and mortgages.

katie said...

Since you and Liz are friends, and Liz and I are sisters, I feel that I enjoy your blog. I have some pretty interesting memories of you, my sister, and the others with all of your boyfriends in high school. The things you write about intrigue me and I love reading your entries. By the way...remember that time you and Liz made me go out with your brother? Your parents followed us all the way to the the theaters. He took me to see Jurassic Park and I hated it. Oh, and he basically said nothing to me all night. Thanks. I owe you and Liz a lot.

Soul-Fusion said...

Welcome Katie! I'm not sure about "all" those boyfriends you remember us having in high school but I guess that is a matter of perspective. that blind date Liz and I inflicted on the two of you was pretty bad but I think it was Liz and me following you, not my parents. I can't imagine them doing that on purpose.

Robert said...

we didn't, or at least I don't remember following them. I think we may have seen them them somewhere, but we definitely did not follow. Lyss, on the other hand.....

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