- everyone wears nametags even though they don't have any sort of customer traffic
- there are full candy dishes on every ledge and desk
- cubicles are all decorated - some with giant banners with a date which I assume was some sort of mile-marker with the company
- there is a company fight song on the wall in one of the conference rooms
- I frequently see people returning from birthday cake gatherings and I was even offered birthday donuts once
- cheezy slogans on the walls
- each desk and cube has a poster (red or blue, I assume some sort of "team") with the person's name or nick-name, interests and a quote
- if there are stray push-pins or magnets they are put to use spelling someone's name or "HI"
- everyone is suspicious of the strange lawyers sequestered in fish-bowl offices
- I found this quote in the employee manual: "We want you to go home after every day of work and say 'I love my job.' We want every customer and every associate to be TICKLED, DELIGHTED and HAPPY." (emphasis in original)
Up until this last point you may have thought I was describing your office, right? But is anyone else frightened by the terribly pushy command that an employee be TICKLED, DELIGHTED and HAPPY?? For the most part I like my job and some days I even might say I enjoy it. However, I do not anticipate that I will ever use the words "tickled" or "delighted" to describe it. Maybe if my job involved lounging at the beach eating bon bons (that never made me gain weight) while an attractive young man fanned me with a giant palm and did all my bidding. . . . maybe then I would feel tickled to go to work. But from what I have seen of this place, there isn't a job description like that.
Another oddity I must note, the company purchases lunch for us each day. For the first couple of days we received the same sandwiches from the cafeteria on something called squaw bread - I'd never heard of it before but I really like it. The sandwich was always accompanied by a giant cookie and chips. Our lunch is always delivered sometime between 11 and 1130 a.m. What is up with that? Who eats lunch that early? It only makes the afternoon excrutiatingly long which results in me eating the cookie I was trying not to eat - like I can really ignore a perfectly good chocolate chip cookie sitting on my desk for very long!
This week we have moved away from the cafeteria. On Monday we had Chinese - although the woman was startled that I wanted a menu before making my selection. Silly me. Immediately following lunch on Monday I was emailed a menu for Tuesday's dining selection - more sandwiches. By the time I arrived in the office Tuesday morning I received an irritated email explaining that if we did not submit our lunch orders by 830 we would not be getting lunch. What? Where is this woman ordering the food from? There are only 4 of us working here, not a lot of coordinating. We all managed to slip our orders in and ended up with sandwiches not as good as the cafeteria. Wednesday we were neglected and no one even asked us what we wanted until 11 and we ate at a heavy italian lunch that included miniature cheese cakes at a normal lunch hour of 1 pm. But today was the strangest of all. We never received a menu and we were never questioned about choices. Instead, we received an email telling us what had been ordered and that it would arrive at 1130. It was pizza and a massive pile of cookies from California Pizza Kitchen and as we were eating it in the kitchen, vultures swooped in and stole pieces. I'm sure tomorrow will bring yet another lunch surprise that is not weight watchers approved. . .